Empty & Lost

Love anchors the soul. I feel like I have been un-anchored. I do not feel unloved, but like I have lost my stability. Almost like I am empty and lost. I feel like I am wandering. I have nowhere to go other than here, yet I feel so far way.

What happened? Nothing. Nothing that hasn't been brewing for a while. I could smell it, like coffee. A distinct smell as it starts to peculate, that then intensifies as it keeps brewing, until the whole house smells of fresh made coffee, except that I don't get to have a cup. It's right there, but I don't get to have any. That's how I feel. I thought I saw this coming and was ready to deal with it, but I guess I still wasn't as prepared for it as I should have been.

It's not the end of the world, but it affects my whole world. And there is nothing I can do about it.

If love anchors the soul, it's what my anchor is anchored in that loosened up and let it go. That is what the problem is. It loosened up and let him go. I can try to hold on to it for him, but that's not going to work. He needs to get hooked into it again. I can't do it for him, he needs to do it by himself. I can encourage him and guide him as best I can, but it won't make a difference until he wants to be anchored again.

I have been un-anchored.  


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