Lesson Learnt

I have dealt with my fair share of people in my life and I am only 25 years old. I guess that's what happens when you work a customer service job. Granted, I am on maternity leave at the moment, but when I am working, I am helping people all day long. I think it must be part of my personality because I truly enjoy helping them out. Thinking back, I have been like that since high school. I did quite a bit of volunteer work and even made the peer-support group. The program I had started in college was again, all about helping people. And then an other wave of volunteer work, geared towards helping youth this time.  I enjoy helping others. My husband does too. We recently had opened up our home to help someone. We did this against our friends and family's advice.But this person needed help and had no one else at the time.

Now, this person had decided that they do not need or want our help any more. That is fine. We still think that this person could benefit from our help because it is stemmed from a Christian standpoint and has a different perspective that the rest of the worlds. We do not think of our selves as better than others but think instead that we are offering a better perspective, especially since this person had professed a faith in Christ, as have we.

You see, when you have this faith and are truly trying to be like Christ, it is hard to be surrounded by people that are not like-minded. They might not understand the reasoning behind the way that you do things compared to how they might do them. They will not have the same view on life as you do. They might still support you and love you to the best of their abilities, but it will not be the same. If they don't have the same core beliefs as you, there will be a gap. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says : " Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" To be "yoked" means to be joined together. This verse, from my understanding, tells us to separate ourselves from those who don't believe in Christ Jesus as their Lord and Savior. If that means distancing yourself from your family, then so be it. Especially if you are prone to making bad decisions when surrounded by them or if you are easily influenced by them to do things the Bible teaches not to do. This verse does not say never to speak to unbelievers again. It just shows that believers and unbelievers will have a hard time fellowshiping together. 

This issue is, now this person that we had welcomed into our home is now attempting to hurt us through others. This person is willingly creating misunderstandings with their family and friends in an attempt to shame us. What we had offered up as help and insight is getting twisted and spewed onto social media. Now, other's opinion of me doesn't bother me. You can think whatever you want about me, but telling lies to others about it does bother me. Make your opinion of me from what you truly know of me, not what someone who is upset at me is telling you. AGAIN, come and talk directly to me, find out the truth. There are always two sides to every story, but there is only one story. There is what actually happened and how both parties involved have perceived what happened. 

Last night, we went to bed hurt and feeling betrayed. Today we feel sick to our stomachs. How can someone we truly, genuinely cared for turn around and gather other people up to hurt us ? And as only answer for their actions was because they needed to "better portray" us to their family. So this family is being fed a story marked with emotions and exaggerations. Everything we work on with this person has flown out the window and to them never truly meant anything. 

This particularly hits home for us because this person was at the origin of other challenges that we have had to go through in the past. They had supported us through that challenge and even vowed never to revisit it. This person now announced to us that they have actively gone back and feel that it's what they are supposed to be doing. 

The support this person had brought to us almost 2 years ago now, was apparently all for show and never actually genuine. The support that we had felt was heartfelt was fake. This has brought us to believe that this WHOLE relationship was all false. We feel mocked and betrayed. We endured hardships in order to help this person. We never asked for anything in return for helping them. We took them in to our home, let them create relationships with our children and be part of our household. If they disagreed with us this badly, a simple "no thanks" would have sufficed.  A simple "thanks, but no thanks" would have gone a long way. 

But that's not what happened. Now, we are being called names and ridiculed on social media. Of course, our names are not being revealed but the messages are being directed at us. Of course, the information being shared is not accurate and influenced by twisted facts.

Hypocrisy is a big word. What does it actually mean ? 

a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one
 does not really possess.  
a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude.

We are not pretending to have certain beliefs or character traits, we do have them. We believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and strive to be like Him everyday. We try to be kind and honest and caring and peaceful and every other fruit of the spirit.  We try. We might not succeed every day but we try. We are only human and have never claimed to be anything other or something we weren't. We are not putting on a show or pretending to act this way with only certain people. We are not feigning to be this way with certain individuals, this is who we are. 

We did our best to help this person, to the best of our ability, We did all that we could and all that we thought was best. We prayed, a lot. We talked a lot. We thought a lot. Apparently, it wasn't good enough, But at least, we did something. 

Galatians 6 :10 says : " Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." This is what we strive to do. This is what we attempted to do. This did not need to end this way. That was a choice. That choice has now impacted us. It has hurt us, it has angered us, it has disappointed us and it has changed us. It will forever change the way we react to others in need of help. We will be cautious and tentative and prudent before we get involved with anyone again. 

I might have more to say. I'm just processing right now. I'll be back.


  1. I will have more to add once I clear my mind so that I can formulate words.


Post a Comment

Popular Posts