I am done.
I am done. No one has ever taken me seriously or truly listened to what I have had to say, with the exception of my husband. He is a good, kind and compassionate man. But this post isn'tabout him.
People tend to assume that I am the shy quiet type of person. I don't know if it's attributed to me because I am on the bigger side physically or because I actually listen when people are talking. I think before I talk, well most of the time anyway. I am not necessarily a loud person either. I try to be soft spoken and gentle in my demeanor. Now, having said that, I am shy sometimes and I do tend to think a lot. And because of that, most people around me have taken liberties around me.
It's apparently quite easy to step on Brigitte's toes,she won't say anything. How about cutting her off mid-sentence or not including her in the conversation at all, even though she is standing right there. Or even yet, let's move over there where she can't follow us, especially since she's holding the baby and can't crutch with him in her arms. That one was a good one! And especially since I have been on crutches for over 3 months now, there are even more times when I am left behind or ignored or down right forgotten. It's even worse now because I have to ask these people for help. Help with simple things that I can not accomplish. And because they are simple they then deem it acceptable to make fun of me for not being able to do them. Now that is classy. Sure, make fun of me for falling on a flat surface, for not being able to get up because someone moved my crutches out of my reach. No, I can't go shopping all day. No, I can't serve myself a plate of food and bring it back to the table. No, I can't pick the baby up and go change his diaper. Those are just a few.
I am not trying to be lazy or demanding. I hate asking you for help with something I use to be more than capable of doing. I hate that I can't walk. Can't pace with the baby to put him to sleep. I can't go get myself a drink or snack or anything I cant manage to hold on to and crutch at the same time. And I really hate that my husband has to do everything while I sit there and watch him.
Its not fair to him to go to work and do his job and then come home and have to do mine. And then people come in to our house and judge because our house isn't up to their standards... no I haven't dusted or swept or really deep cleaned the whole house. I physically can't and my husband is too busy cooking meals and taking care of the boys to do it either. If you don't like our house, you can either help us out or don't bother coming over. We have enough to worry about with everything thing else going on and could care less if your socks get dog hair on them.
I am not saying that if you come over to our house that you are expected to clean. No. But you are expected not to make more of a mess than there already is. You are adults. You can and will be held responsible for your actions. We have kids to clean up after and that's enough. So by all means, take your shoes off at the door. Bring your own dishes to the sink. Don't encourage our boys to make a mess or do something they clearly shouldn't be doing. Its simple common sense.
Like I said in the beginning. I am done. I am done being quiet and shy. I am done letting everyone walk over me. I am done not saying anything. I am done quietly accepting everything around me. I am to the point where I don't care if I ruffle a few feathers. I will no longer accept what I use to. I will stand up for myself and my husband and our family. I will speak up if I feel treated unfairly or rudely or in a way that is demeaning. And if that offends you, well you're just going to have to get over it, like I had been doing. You'll see, it's not all that bad keeping your thoughts to yourself once in a while.
Now all of what I have mentioned obviously doesn't apply to everyone. We do have some friends and family members who have been invaluable to us over the past few months and always. Without them we wouldn't be anything. To them goes a big thanks and much appreciation.
I must say that it feels good to get this off my chest. Unfortunately, this is just the tip of the iceberg for me. There are many more things I need to express but this one has taken a lot of mental energy to process amd and I need to take a break. These thoughts here are my personal feelings and I will stand by them. This was not ment to hurt anyone but to inform them. I am not calling out to anyone specific but to all in general. But if you do feel hurt by what I am saying, feel free to COME AND TALK WITH ME about it. I will listen to you.